Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The Spoiled Brat of the Divine

How long did it take for God to lose control of His divine wrath, or to just be sadistic and plain mean?

The Book of Genesis

God is perfect. God is just. God is loving. God is merciful. God is...well, according to the Bible God is a lot of things. Be that as it may the Bible presents verse after verse that serves as evidence that God is anything BUT perfect, just, loving, merciful, or any other good character trait. 

Nope. No no no. God is most certainly nothing like what His flock of sheep think He is.

I started this post with the goal in mind that I would list all of the verses I could find in the Bible that made reference to God's ridiculous, temper tantrum, foot-stomping, two-ear-old, pouting little boy behavior. There were too many verses to put into one posting and so I decided to go book by book and list them.

Please note that not all of the verses I list will have a corresponding video.

Genesis 3:24 "After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life."
     So, here in this verse we have God displaying the ferocious nature of His sadistic tendencies. I mean, God kicks Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden regardless of the fact that God purposely set Adam and Eve up for failure, God put the bad tree right where His human creations could have easy access and God neglected to tell Adam and Eve about the freaking serpent. What kind of sicko does that? Frankly, I think that the story of Adam and Eve is a great indicator early on as to the absolute sadistic nature of God.

Genesis 4:5 "...but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast."

     Yet another early example of God's twisted behavior, right? Surely Mr. Omnipotent knew that by giving Abel a happy signal for his sacrifice to God and by giving Cain a not-so-happy signal that something not-so-good was bound to occur. Let us assume for a moment that God isn't bloodthirsty and demanding of ritual sacrifice, but would Cain have killed Abel if God had accepted both of their sacrifices instead of just Abel's?

Genesis 6:3 "Then the LORD said, My Spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be a hundred and twenty years."

     So...just like any good soap opera would spice up the story line in order to get better ratings, here God decides to give all people on planet earth about 120 years to get their affairs in order before He yanks the carpet out from under them. God shows no desire to show people how to live and behave and He sure as shit didn't show any mercy. Nope. What God does is more or less say, "Fuck 'em all."

Genesis 6:6-7 "The LORD regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled. So the LORD said, I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created--and with them the animals, the birds and the creatures that move along the ground--for I regret that I have made them."

     God is so upset that His intelligent creation is not pliant and obedient that He decides the best course of action is to kill everything. What a fuck-up.

Genesis 6:13,17 "So God said to Noah, "I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth." 

     "I am going to bring flood waters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it. Everything on earth will perish."

Genesis 7:21 "Every living thing that moved on land perished--birds, livestock, wild animals, all the creatures that swarm over the earth, and all mankind."

Genesis 7:23 "Every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out; people and animals and the creatures that move along the ground and the birds were wiped from the earth. Only Noah was left, and those with him in the ark."

Genesis 9:5-6 "And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each human being, too, I will demand an accounting for the life of another human being."

     "Whoever sheds human blood, by humans shall their blood be shed; for in the image of God has God made mankind."
     What kind of divine sicko insists on making the animals pay for blood spilled? How in the fuckey-doo are animals supposed to account for themselves? Explain that stupid shit. Is God so eager to see something suffer?

Genesis 11:6-9 "The LORD said, "If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them."

     "Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other."
     "So the LORD scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city."
     "That is why it was called Babel --because there the LORD confused the language of the whole world. From there the LORD scattered them over the face of the whole earth."
     And so many Christians pray every day, every damn day that God would allow people to actually get along with each other. Huh. Seems to me that it was God and His sadistic desire to stir the pot that broke people up to begin with. Seriously. Look up the story of the Tower of Babel in the Bible and you will see it was GOD who interfered negatively when He saw that people were working together. Man was NOT fighting. Man was working together. 
     Apparently, God was so put out that man was actually getting along just fine without God that God decided to fuck everything up. Read the story. What does it say? It says that God makes the comment that with men working together NOTHING will be IMPOSSIBLE. So what does God do to rectify the situation? Why He makes all that was possible when men worked together IMPOSSIBLE by rendering the people incapable of working together. Fuck you, God. Fuck you.

Genesis 12:17 "But the LORD inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household because of Abram's wife Sarai."

     Sooo...never mind that it was not Pharaoh's fault that he did not know Sarai was Abraham's wife (good 'ole Abe told Pharaoh she was his sister), but God decides to punish Pharaoh for Abraham's lie. So goddamn ridiculous. God is a total affront to what justice is by nature.

Genesis 19:13, 26 "...because we are going to destroy this place. The outcry to the LORD against its people is so great that he has sent us to destroy it."

     "But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt."
     Alrighty then. Never mind that Lot offered his daughters to a crowd outside his door; since God did not intervene He implied His consent of Lot's fucked up offer. Here God decides He is so pissed off He is going to snuff out a couple of cities with fire from heaven. He tells Lot and Lot's wife and daughters to NOT look back as the cities are being destroyed. Lot's wife's curiosity gets the better of her and she takes a peek, instantly turning into a pillar of salt. Lovely. Maybe it is not so much that Lot's wife disobeyed an order to NOT look so much as it is God did not want any witnesses to His dastardly deed.

Genesis 20:18 "...for the LORD had kept all the women in Abimelek's household from conceiving because of Abraham's wife Sarah."

     So, once again we have a fine example of God placing punishment on someone when they had nothing to do with what they are being punished for in the first fuckin' place.

Genesis 22:2, 9, 12 "Then God said, Take your son, your only son, whom you love--Isaac--and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you."

     "When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood."
     ""Do not lay a hand on the boy, he said. Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."
     Here is one of the most popular stories in Christianity that always bothered me, right? I mean, Mr. Omnipotent should have known the quality of Abraham's faith without instructing Abe to pull an Andrea Yates.

Genesis 29:31 "When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless."
     Well, what have we here but God pitting one woman against another...for no fucking reason at all. I think God simply loves to see people suffer physically, mentally and spiritually. And the issue here is not just Rachel being barren by divine decision, but read the verse again and you will see that Leah was not loved. Of course, with God being love and all you would think He would do the righteous and compassionate thing and allow Leah one of the most important and basic requirements for a happy and satisfying life. But nnnoooooo...because why? Because God was apparently having too much of a good time watching Leah pop out kid after kid, each time hoping that she would have finally done enough to earn the love she so desperately craved. 

Genesis 30:2 "Jacob became angry with her and said, Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?"
     Ahhh. The widely practiced and highly acclaimed, Oliver North-style, divine edition game of Pass the Buck. Why the fuck is Jacob angry with Rachel when he himself stated it was God pinching off Rachel's Fallopian tubes? Is Jacob so afraid of God and of confronting God about the bullshit treatment towards Rachel that he turns on Rachel? The sociopath implications here as to The Almighty's behavior is actually quite frightening and completely and totally devoid of any caring and nurturing. 

Genesis 32:25 "When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man."
     Here we have straightforward evidence that God fights dirty...just like many spoiled brat bullies in the world we know. 

Genesis 38:7, 10 "But Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the LORD's sight; so the LORD put him to death."
     "What he did was wicked in the LORD's sight; so the LORD put him to death also."

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